Body and social incongruence
This is a questionnaire that asks you about your relationship with your physical form and how you are perceived by other people. Some questions mention suicidality, most are overall depressive.Questions on this list refer to irrational discomfort, dysmorphia and dysphoria, as well as aesthetic preferences. If your only reason to want some kind of a change is removing material obstacles to a successful life, answer "no".
Identities and body
Would you feel more comfortable with a gender, different from the one you were assigned?
Would you feel more comfortable with sex characteristics, different from the ones you physically have?
Would you feel more comfortable with a different sexual/romantic orientation?
Would you feel more comfortable with an age, different from your chronological one?
Would you feel more comfortable having disorders, disabilities, or neurodivergencies you do not physically have, or removing the ones you do have?
Would you feel more comfortable with an ethnicity, different from the one you inherited?
Would you feel more comfortable with hair color, texture, or amount/distribution different from the one you physically have?
Would you feel more comfortable with different facial features?
Would you feel more comfortable with a different eye color?
Would you feel more comfortable with a different skin color or texture?
Would you feel more comfortable with a different amount of body fat?
Would you feel more comfortable with a different height?
Would you feel more comfortable with different body proportions (leg/torso ratio, fat distribution)?
Would you feel more comfortable with more or fewer muscles?
Would you feel more comfortable with inner organs, somehow different from the ones you currently have (not including sex characteristics)?
Would you feel more comfortable with a different voice or accent?
Would you feel more comfortable if you had some character traits you don't believe to have?
Would you feel more comfortable as a nonhuman species?
Would you feel more comfortable with some features that are considered physically impossible (e.g., wings, claws, laser eyes, no body shape at all)?
Would you feel more comfortable with a name, different from the one most people use for you?
Would you feel more comfortable with a birthday date, different from your calendar one?
Behavior and presentation
Do you try to obscure some of your parameters (e.g., by saying a different age online or not disclosing your assigned gender) for reasons, unrelated to safety?
Do you have an online persona you are attached to, with identities, different from the ones you claim offline?
Do you feel like the behavior people expect from you is not natural, and if you were to act the way you want, people would consider it out of character?
Do you feel like you cannot present the way you want, because people would find it odd or funny?
Do you feel like you are lacking mental qualities, necessary for acting the way you want, making choices and statements you'd like?
Is the lifestyle you want associated with some social group you are not perceived as?
Do people give you fashion or lifestyle tips that are aimed at enhancing features you are uncomfortable with?
Do people make well-meaning comments about your looks, age, social status that are nevertheless upsetting, because these qualities of yours are not what you want them to be?
Do you feel like the social group/groups you want to belong to will not see you as one of their own, because the reasons why you want to be included are not visible to them?
Do you daydream about having different looks, psychological type, or social status?
Would you risk your health or life stability for the sake of a change?
Do you want to pursue any kind of a social or physical transition, related to minimizing the mismatch between your current self and your ideal self?
Do you feel a strong sense of connection to a particular person, character, concept, to the point of identifying with them?
Do you feel like it takes you extra time and careful word choice to get your point across, because people keep assuming you couldn't mean what you actually meant and interpreting you incorrectly?
Has anyone ever accused you of appropriating another group's identities and struggles (e.g. of fetishizing gay men as a woman)?
Has anyone ever accused you of internalized bigotry (e.g. internalized misogyny, racism) because of your unwillingness to associate with social groups, assigned to you?
Do you avoid mirrors, because seeing your physical body upsets or disappoints you?
Feelings
Does the prospect of continuing your life the way that is expected from you cause you a sense of dread and hopelessness?
Do you feel like nobody sees the real you behind your physical body?
Do you feel like you cannot function as a member of the society, because there is no niche you could fill comfortably?
Do you feel like your life is not worth living, because you cannot be perceived the way you need?
Does people's reaction to your attempts at drawing boundaries and making yourself comfortable make you feel like they treat your body, health, and identities like public property?
Do you go through periods of self hate and disappointment in yourself, because you cannot be who you wish to be?
Has the mismatch between your inner and outer selves made you suicidal?
The maximal total number you can have is 45. I, the maker of this questionnaire, have 28, and I consider my experiences to be on the severe side. A person I chose for my control group of "normal" people scored as low as 5. More detailed score descriptions will be added as I continue working on this questionnaire.
Why did I make this?
I am a transgender, transage, trans-many-other-parameters person. This has brought me a lot of mental discomfort I can only describe as "dysphoria". Recently I improved my condition through transition, and I realized the amount of misery that was inherent to my life before is not what a regular person would describe as a normal, baseline state. I used to run into misunderstandings with other people in my life about my priorities - when I'd put first things that help me relieve my distress (clothes, coping mechanisms), they would expect me to focus on material goals, like presenting myself in a way that will make me look professional and respectable. I didn't know they don't share my discomfort and assumed they're just very good at coping, and they probably didn't know I expereinced such discomfort at all. I'm making this questionnaire to help bridge the gap between people like me and people like them.
Resources
Zinnia Jones' post on depersonalization in gender dysphoric people:
When you don’t know what this is, or that it’s even an actual condition, it’s easy to mistake it for who you naturally are. … Because I viewed my lifelong unease in this way, I initially believed that I didn’t even experience dysphoria, and that I was already okay. I didn’t know there was anything wrong with me.Trans-X/transid masterlistTransage FAQTrans-age Info CarrdTransage ArchiveThe Transabled GlossaryTransautismTrace/diaracial
Warning
Please, do not respond with offense and outrage to people's genuine experiences and identities. You do not know others' reasons and struggles they go through, you just make the assumption that you see a privileged person appropriating an oppressed identity for fun and trolling. You are making this assumption because we live in a culture that punishes for deviation and is more protective of label purity than of actual people. You were taught that any identity you share must be protected from intruders. And you should not be falling into this mindset so quickly and easily, you are not the judge and the jury of how other people feel. Listen, learn, make conclusions later.A "good faith identity" is an identity that is held without malice, not an identity that makes you, a bystander, feel good. And malice must be proven.